The Kitchen Sink

Yep, it looks like I'm getting the works. The good old trifecta. Surgery, chemo, and radiation. Then hormone therapy for probably 10 years with possible ovary removal. At this point I want them to take anything out that makes cancer fuel (estrogen) and hell, anything that isn't really needed anymore so at least I can't get cancer of those things too. So by all means yank the uterus and everything else in there as well. Anyway, I can't really go into my treatment plan yet as its not finalized because I'm still debating on participating in a clinical study. Believe it or not, the Pharma rep is probably more gun shy about clinical studies than the average patient as we have seen several promising late stage studies fail. But this one is with a drug that actually works, a celebrated "miracle drug". It's just not a drug currently indicated for my kind of cancer. So will it help? That's what they want to see. I'm currently weighing the risks and benefits, both sides feel heavy, and I'm not supposed to be lifting over 10 pounds. Either way, chemo will start in the next few weeks and I get my port in next Friday. That's considered an outpatient surgery and I get to have the "glass of wine" infusion again so I'm pumped. I stopped drinking so these are the things that thrill me. Everyone tells me chemo is do-able. I'm not sure what that means. I used to consider myself do-able. When I had boobs and long blonde hair.

Quick moment of vanity-did you know most people gain weight from chemo??? I read something like an average of 28 pounds. What?! I can't even have the silver lining of looking like a skinny cancer patient?? When I read that cancer treatment was like pregnancy-an average length of 9 months, I guess time wasnt all they were talking about.

 I will leave you with things to NOT say in your life if you want to avoid breast cancer that were actually said by me:
1. "I don't think I have to worry about breast cancer."
2. (After breast feeding and yes, this was a wrong assumption) "If I ever get breast cancer my boobs are so saggy, I will catch it just by looking in the mirror."
3. "I really want to know what my natural hair color is."
 4. (This was Eric while massaging my head pre-diagnosis) "Your head feels so lumpy, I want to see what it looks like bald." Watch what you wish for!!